Plans for Halloweeeeeeen?

[Street]

Egg them, cover them with loo roll, flour and silly string the moment you open the door, then whilst they're in shock, knock them out with a frozen loaf of bread, then beat them mercilessly until they're an inch from death.

Upon their collapse on your doorstep (which, I forgot to mention, should be lined with bacon strips), throw multiple rainbows into the sky 50 metres away from your house, and whilst the local neighbourhood are distracted watching this glorious double rainbow and filming youtube comedy gold, place the body in the trunk of your car. (Which should also be lined with bacon strips).

Having done this, drive to your nearest motorway service station, and deposit the body in a field nearby. Subsequently cover the body with toothpaste, shaving foam, whipped cream, candy sprinkles and half a tonne of feathers.

Once you have done all this, drive home, defrost the bread, grill all the bacon and feed your dog a mountain of bacon sandwiches. When the aforementioned trick or treater wakes up, they'll just think they've had one hell of a night, the evidence of your wrong doing will have been eaten, and you'll only have spent about £100 on bacon and shaving foam to get rid of 1 trick or treater.


Btw, you should also make sure that they're absolutely hammered, and not with a parent. Failure to comply with either of these conditions will result in you being arrested and probably jailed for a pretty lengthy period.



Failing that, you could just not answer the door.